coaching – Page 2 – Emma Vallin

6 (Over)Achievement Archetypes

Overachievers can accomplish great things but always need to do more. As they constantly raise the bar, the cost for reaching their goals eventually outweigh the rewards. Although overachievers tend to do well early on in their careers, at some point they start questioning the value of their constant hustle. In addition, research shows that achievement-orientation significantly increases the risk of burnout*.

Learning how to achieve sustainably is not only critical to our performance and well-being but affects the people we work with as well.

Overachievement Archetypes. © 2021 Emma Vallin. All rights reserved.

In a series of posts, I will discuss six achievement archetypes or patterns, identified through years of coaching high achievers and from my own ‘achievement detox’.

Which archetype (if any) do you most identify with?

- - THE COMPARISON JUNKIE. Lives by the motto: ‘Grass is always greener…’
  - THE CONTROLLER. ‘If you want a thing done well, do it yourself’
  - THE PERFECTIONST. ‘Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing’
  - THE COMPETITOR. ‘Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing’
  - THE CONTANT ACHIEVER. ‘I will rest when I’m dead’
  - THE WORRYING PROBLEMSOLVER. ‘Spend 55 min worrying about the problem and 5 min thinking about solutions’

I will share the drivers and fears behind each archetypes and would love to discuss what strategies you use to balancing them out.

I would love to have your input and hear your reflections on this topic!

Importantly, it’s NOT about giving up on being a high achiever, it’s about developing a dimmer to your superpower so that you can achieve sustainably, on your terms.

I use this framework a lot in my Achievement Detox Coaching Program and when coaching business leaders. I find it very useful for identifying underlying fears and drivers and changing negative behaviors.

Happy reading!

*Canadian Journal of Nursing 2019, Vulnerability and Stressors for Burnout

Spring is in the air – time to invest in yourself?

Japanese Cherry Blossom season is soon upon us. ‘Sakura’ reminds us that life is precious and short and must not be wasted. The beautiful blossom which last only for a couple of days is a reminder to focus on what is important.

Do you want to find ways to reduce negative stress? Are you interesting in sustainable achievement? Or perhaps you are exploring career options?

After a year of homework and family bubbles, many are seeing light in the end of the tunnel and starting to think about new challenges and goals.

Offer: 3 coachingsessions for SEK1800

I’m currently offering a package of 3 sessions for SEK 1,800 (Value SEK 2,700) to new clients. Sessions are 50 minutes and done over Zoom. (Friskvårdsbidrag valid in Sweden).

Coaching can help you:

- - Clarify purpose and goals
  - Challenge negative behaviors and patterns
  - Prevent burnout
  - Get a clear plan with support and motivation for change

Interested? Get in touch on: kontakt@emmavallin.se +46 709195374

Feedback from previous clients:

”I am progressing through a change in career, exploring new opportunities in maybe even new sectors. Coaching with Emma have provided me with interesting tools and exercises to explore the right direction. I would strongly recommend anyone in a similar situation – taking on uncertainty – to explore this type of positive and unconditional coaching.” Willeke, UK

“During our conversations Emma was always committed, well prepared and ready to challenge me. I experience Emma as an incredibly warm, humble, curious and driven person who is genuinely interested in helping other people. I could really recommend Emma as a coach! Kristin, Stockholm

*Offer valid until March 31st 2021. Purchased sessions to be used within 1 year. New customers only. Digital coaching calls via Zoom. Payment by Swish or invoice. Appointments booked on kontakt@emmavallin.se or +46 709195374. 24h cancellation policy.

Nominate a leader for the Executive Coaching Program

Are you leading your organization through change?

Do you want to become a more resilient, self-aware, and effective leader?

Or do you work with a super talent who would flourish with dedicated personal development support?

I’m offering up one spot on my Executive Coaching Program for free

The program includes an EQ-i 2.0® assessment and report + individual coaching. Apply in the link below. (Value € 1,950)

As an ICF-certified coach and certified EQ-i 2.0 practitioner I help leaders around the world develop a sharp vision, lead with authenticity, and create sustainable teams. With my 15+ years of corporate-and NGO leadership experience I support AND challenge leaders to raise their game.

Why is EQ critical to the success of today’s leaders?

Emotional intelligence skills are critical for problem solving, leading yourself and others as well as for building resilience.

The World Economic Forum has ranked Emotional Intelligence as one of the top 10 skills needed for the fourth industrial revolution.

And a recent Harvard Business Review article, “The EI Advantage,” states: “Corporate cultures that lack EI are becoming a major liability as business environments change.”

This year has certainly shown us the importance of adapting the change. Reflecting on my own 2020 there have definitely been a few big ones – starting my own business, leaving the corporate world, launching my Achievement Detox Program and going all digital with webinars and workshops.

Take this opportunity to nominate yourself of someone who wants to raise their game in 2021.

Best of luck!

Application

[contact-form to=”kontakt@emmavallin.se” subject=”APPLICATION EC PROGRAM”][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”1″][contact-field label=”E-mail” type=”email” required=”1″][contact-field label=”How would you benefit as a leader from Executive Coaching? (max 100 words)” type=”textarea” required=”1″][contact-field label=”Why should you be selected? (max 100 words)” type=”text” required=”1″][contact-field label=”Current job” type=”text” required=”1″][/contact-form]

Program start Jan 2021. Winner announced by 15^th Jan 2021. All coaching via Microsoft Teams. Appointments booked on kontakt@emmavallin.se, 24 hour cancellation policy.

Is your ambition putting you at risk for burn-out?

The stress-vulnerability model is often used to understand the causes of mental health issues and burn-out.

As you can guess, two dimensions are involved: “Vulnerability” refers to our basic sensitivities and is determined by our genetics as well as life experiences. “Stressors” refers to the situations or challenges faced in our lives.

Many employers are focusing more time and money on preventing negative stress instead of treating already burnt out co-workers. Great for the individual and the bottom line!

However stress prevention is often focused on the situational stressors, such as workload with very little attention given to understanding individual vulnerabilities.

A study from 2019 published in the Canadian Journal of Nursing Research found that ambition or “being passionate about doing well” is a strong vulnerability factor for burn-out. Key themes for situational stressors were “teamwork,” “manager,” and “work and personal circumstances.”

In summary the study shows that a discrepancy between individual vulnerability (ambition) and situational stressors can lead to burn-out. Therefore, burnout prevention needs to target the individual’s vulnerabilities as well.

Through my own Achievement Detox and coaching of high performers, I have learnt a couple of things when it comes to ambition and burn-out:

1. Like any overused strengths your ambition or achievement superpower can damage your health, relationships and even your results.
2. Learning to control your need to achieve does not mean turning your ambition off, you’re simply using it in a smarter way
3. By taking your achiever hat off once in a while and letting other unique personality traits such as your creativity or kindness shine, you become a more interesting and productive person.

Do you or your team want to work smarter to prevent burn-out? Book a webinar, workshop, or coaching session with me.

Source: Vulnerability and Stressors for Burnout, September 2019. The Canadian journal of nursing research

Nervous and exciting Dry Run of my new Webinar

Had a dry run of my new webinar; Achievement Detox last night. A couple of amazing friends were my guinea pigs and gave me really useful feedback!

All went well except a couple of technical hiccups.

Next week is the first session with a larger audience! Fingers crossed MicrosoftTeams works better for me then.

So far the webinar is only in Swedish but I’m introducing an English version after the summer.

If you or your company are interested in achievement addiction and need inspiration for your work with creating a sustainable work culture – do let me know. Happy to tailor workshops or webinars to your needs.

Are you a frog in boiling water?

You’ve probably heard the boiling frog story from at least one overpaid management consultant. You know the story where one frog is put into cold water that is slowly brought to a boil, therefore stays in the water and dies. The other frog is thrown into boiling water, jumps out and lives.

The wrong job can certainly be like water slowly heating up. We feel more drained, out of place and demotivated over time but if we’re not uncomfortable enough, we don’t make the change. Grass is never greener, we tell ourselves.

Recent times have thrown many of us into boiling water. Even those of us not directly affected by the Corona virus have had our daily lives turned upside down. We’ve seen industries fall apart over night and might be questioning the relevance and value of our jobs. (Is it too late to train as a nurse?)

However painful, scary and challenging a sudden change is it can also give you incredible clarity and an insight into what matters. Extreme circumstances can help you make some bold moves.

To continue on the frog metaphor; a sudden pain can help you leap () out of a negative situation and discover a completely new venture, approach, or career.

Are your uncomfortable enough to make the change?

I help clients match career options with their values and needs and offer tools like network mapping. Give me a shout if you think career coaching might be useful for you. First session is free.

An unexpected cure for ‘Hurry Sickness’

Are you the kind of person who cleans the bathroom while brushing your teeth? Move from one check-out line to another when shopping? Sit at the back of the room during work presentations so that you can finish that budget sheet? Chances are you’re suffering from ‘hurry sickness’.

People with ‘hurry sickness’ are multitasking masters, they think, walk and speak fast

What Is Hurry Sickness?

Two American cardiologist first came up with the term when they found a correlation between typical type A behavior and heart disease. People with ‘hurry sickness’ are multitasking masters, they think, speak and even walk fast and get very impatient with anyone or anything wasting their time. Sounds familiar? You’re not alone – a London Business School study found that 95 percent of the managers in a study suffer from the condition.

Is it really that bad for you?

Being busy is often seen as a virtue but when it becomes a constant time urgency you lose your ability to stop and think, and as a result become less effective. You lose sight of the “big picture,” and risk alienating people around you. Not to mention the physiological and mental health risks that come with constant stress.

Quitting the hurry game is really about finding a dimmer for your ‘get-shit-done’ superpower

Why is it so hard to quit the hurry game?

From an early age we are rewarded for doing, achieving and winning. In high paced industries and corporate environments, it’s often a prerequisite for success, as many of us can relate to. Getting lots done is a kind of superpower that has likely made you pretty successful in your career. So why doesn’t it take you further or make you happier? Think of it as running a marathon at sprint pace. It might give you a lead early on in your life or career, but it certainly won’t make you either successful or indeed, alive as the race goes on. It’s less about quitting the hurry game and more about finding a dimmer for your ‘get-shit-done’ superpower. You need to learn how to dial up and down your hurriedness. Of course, it’s great to be able to switch it on for that big deadline or when you’re trying to get 2 small children out the door. But the default setting in your life needs to be less rushed and you need to learn how to dim the light completely.

The unexpected cure – being pregnant!

I’m a classic hurry sick person who have spent my life chasing efficiencies and trying to do things faster and better. From doing my Kegel exercises in the lift to conference calls in the gym. It wasn’t until I got pregnant with my first child that I learnt how to live slow. I suffered from severe pelvic girdle pain and could hardly walk. From being someone who would always walk /run up the tube escalator, I suddenly missed my bus every day for being to slow. I even found myself being overtaken by seniors in the slowest lane in the swimming pool. I have often thought it was natures cruel way to cure me from my hurry sickness before having children. I have to admit the relief was temporary, as a mother of 2 children under 3 years of age I often find myself multitasking in the most ridiculous ways. But I am now a sober hurry addict and I can dial up and down my busyness and speed. I finally have a dimmer!

Other ways to cure hurry sickness

If pregnancy with pelvic girdle pain doesn’t sound temping or just isn’t in the cards for you, here are some tips on how to fight hurry sickness:

1. Practice doing one everyday thing slowly – it could be the dishes or walking to work. How does that make you feel?
2. Question the value of your urgency – What difference will it make if you answer that email tonight? How important is it in the grand scheme of thing?
3. Write down the flip side of your hurrying. What are you missing out on when you rush around? What effects on your health do you see? Who are you hurting?
4. Trick the system with breathing right. When you’re feeling particularly flushed, take some deep breaths (inhale for 3 counts, exhale for 5). This activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the break system) and reduces the stress hormone cortisol.

Let’s make 2020 a slow year!