1. The Mariana Trench of Love
I expected I’d sit and watch the baby for hours but I was not prepared for the bottomless love I feel for Otto. (The Mariana Trench is the world’s deepest oceanic area). He still feels part of my body in a way. Even more surprising is the intimacy I now feel with my partner. I thought the baby cuddles would fill my closeness quota, but no. I feel even greater love for my partner and want even more hugs and kisses. A very pleasant surprise.
2. Helicopter Mom Deluxe
I was convinced that I would be a chilled out mom. Someone who doesn’t use hand sanitizer before every meal or obsess over how warm the baby is. But how wrong I was. I have a helicopter mom default setting and almost feel physical pain when he cries. If someone coughs in the supermarket (the longest trip we have taken so far), I wish that there was industrial power antiseptic spray I could use.
3. Prestige flestige
I was happy to discover that I left most of my career and life performance anxiety in the delivery room. The fact that it took two weeks before I updated the blog after giving birth didn’t bother me at all. A nice side effect indeed. A sort of must-dos detox.
4. Total world isolation
I never understood the so called baby bubble before it hit me. People told me to ‘enjoy the bubble’ or ‘we’ll see you when you’re out of the bubble’. The less charming side of this bubble is perhaps that you don’t have time to read a newspaper, watch your favourite series or use conditioner when you shower. On the other hand the rather pleasant side of the bubble is that things that world affairs or my housing cooperative politics seems completely unimportant. That said, I couldn’t ignore the terrible saga of the US presidential election. On election night I for once appreciated the night feedings so I could follow the news coverage.
5. The mother of efficiency
I now have two settings. The first, a distraught, apathetic zombie-like mode that is often on after a rough night. The second, a hyper efficient mode when I can empty the dishwasher, pay the bills, do the laundry, update Instagram, call mom and bake a pie, all while Otto sleeps. I, who am usually a task master and have spent my life chasing efficiencies and multitasking, am in awe of myself as a new mother.
Pregnancy week 41+ 4
So, imagine you’re planning to do an Ironman (a triathlon that ends with running a marathon) for the first time in your life. You’ve never even worn a wetsuit before but you know it will the be single most painful thing you’ve ever done.
Me: So when will the race take place?
My body: Well, the planned date is in 40 weeks. The race will most likely take place between 37 to 42 weeks from now.
Me: Ok, but I’ll assume the race is in 40 weeks then. On October 11th?
My body: Well, only 4.6% of all races take place on the planned date.
Me: So you’re telling me that I should train, prepare mentally, buy all the gear, frantically Google everything that can possibly go wrong during the race and then wait with my bag packed every night for five weeks for a call from you telling me that the race is on?
My body: Yep. And if the race hasn’t started after 42 weeks they’ll push you into the water and give you lots of drugs so you can make it around the course. If you’re still not able to finish they will put you on a stretcher, put you to sleep and push you all the way to the finishing line.
Me: Ok, thanks. I’m pumped. #week41